The show opens right where it left off last week. Sebastian, the now-zombie Max Rager hit man, gets up from the beach, where his now undead body washed up. He takes a stroll through the forest, finally coming to a road, just in time to be hit by four teens (all of whom are stoned), driving a car (which is stolen), that has its headlights off (!!). If this isn’t a moment for one of those Traffic Safety films from our high school days, I don’t know what is.
Anyway, this is only the beginning of a series of bad days for poor Sebastian. By the end of the episode, you will almost feel sorry for him. Almost…
Thinking they have killed him (Hey, he has no pulse), the four refugees from “Cabin in the Woods” bury him in a shallow grave. In typical undead style, his hand comes straight up out of the dirt. He claws his way out of the grave and proceeds to help himself to the perky, guilt-ridden cheerleader type. The others run for it.
It takes to weeks for the body to be discovered. Thankfully, through the magic of television, we don’t have to wait that long.
When Liv and Dr. Ravi are called in, the first thing they note is that the cheerleader’s skull is cracked open and much of her brain is gone.
Author’s note: Yes, I realize there are several rather nasty comments that could be made here about cheerleaders and brains, but I have never had a bad experience with a cheerleader. In fact, I’ve never had any experience with a cheerleader. I hated high school.
The two conclude that this is a zombie killing.
It takes a while for Clive and Liv– who is now perky, as she drank liquefied brain of cheerleader with Mexican chocolate– to track down the other occupants of the car.
They are part of a storage locker band called The Asshats. Given their upcoming behavior, the name is fitting.
Well, there are a lot of denials and red herrings (false clues) until one of Liv’s visions points to one of the band members; namely, the stoner. Liv and Clive return for a second visit to find this particular stoner dead. It should be noted that his brain is untouched. This could mean something (insert organ sting here). Liv does eat some of the stoner’s brain, using it as pizza topping. Clive visits during this meal and takes a bite of Liv’s specially topped pizza. He thinks that it’s mushroom, which he is not fond of.
The stoner’s death is enough for the goth/punk female of the band to realize that she will likely be the next victim. She’s seen plenty of movies, so she knows. She spills her guts (figuratively) about the accident and then goes off to the police artist to get a sketch of the guy. The sketch is later texted to Liv, who recognizes it as Sebastian. She is filled with remorse and admits to Ravi that she has created a zombie. Are you starting to feel sorry for Sebastian yet?
Another mostly brainless victim comes into the morgue. It is an elderly lady named Edna. The zombie has struck again! While Liv is working with Ravi, Peyton (Liv’s roommate and Ravi’s love interest) is getting ready for a weekend in San Francisco with the good doctor on a tour of the settings for the movie “Vertigo.” As she readies herself, a turn of the bathroom mirror reveals Sebastian in the apartment!
Liv returns to her digs to the smell of cooking. Thinking that it’s Peyton, she heads for the kitchen. She finds her unconscious on the floor and none other than Sebastian cooking up some hot chilies. I am willing to bet that many of the local groceries just can’t keep those things in stock.
Sebastian is upset. You see, he is now a zombie. And he just killed his Aunt Edna (the old lady in the morgue). She was the woman who loved him and raised him when his parents died. She had cut open her head on the refrigerator door and asked for help. Sebastian said he was so hungry, he couldn’t control himself. Tears for Sebastian? Anyone?
His anger spills over and a knife fight ensues. Liv gets her hand pierced, then gets the upper hand and puts a knife right into Sebastian’s head. Now, he’s really dead. Unfortunately for all parties concerned, Peyton is not only awake, but also witnessed the entire fight, including Liv’s red glowing eyes.
Liv tells the truth to Peyton.
“There are zombies in this world and I’m one of them.”
When Liv comes back with some peroxide to take care of Peyton’s head wound, she finds herself alone. She tells Ravi, who we see at the end of the show, waiting on the porch for Peyton, who is nowhere in sight.
So, that’s it. You are caught up. Except for Major, that is.
Major has been watching YouTube again. This time, it is pointers on how to kill zombies. He still has the Astronaut’s brains (five yellow coolers worth), which the zombies of Meat Cute are still searching for. Hmm, the Zombies of Meat Cute. I’d buy that calendar.
Major is shown leaving a message on his computer that begins with the words ‘If you are watching this, then I am already dead.’ He’s up to something. He visits his friendly neighborhood gun dealer and buys a couple of heavy pistols, as well as a grenade. It was a throw-in (insert groan for lousy pun here). Then, he dons a fake ID and goes to Meat Cute as a health inspector. He convinces Blaine that he is what he says he is. DuPont is still out on the brain hunt, but when he hears about the inspector, he suspects that it is Major. The next time we see him, Major is trussed up with duct tape being questioned about the Astronaut’s brains by Blaine and DuPont.
Meanwhile, the goth/punk female from Asshats, who is likely dismissing the idea of a Reunion Tour, gets texts from the other living member of the band. He wants her to meet him at a motel. She goes (of course she does. She’s in the Asshats). The door to the room is ajar. Upon entering, she sees blood spray on the pillow. She turns in surprise and the door slams shut. When we see her again, she has been beaten to a pulp. Bloodied and barely able to move, she manages to dial 911. Someone is Killing the Asshats of Seattle!
Let’s raise a few points to ponder, as next week is the season finale.
First, what about the thumb drive with the Max Rager memo on it? If you remember, it was in Sebastian’s pocket when he went over the side of the boat last week. No one seemed to remember that he had it.
I believe that it is in the hands of the president of Max Rager. I also think that he is the one killing off the Asshats. Okay, that part might be considered public service. He seems the most logical choice. I am willing to bet that he is also a zombie. He probably got that way through his own product.
Secondly, there is the matter of my gift of prophecy. As Major is hanging around Meat Cute off-screen, the doorbell rings. Someone has come in. Blaine goes over to find Liv’s brother with a filled out application for the delivery boy position at Meat Cute. Blaine is about to give him the brush off, when he sees Liv’s name as emergency contact. An evil grin crosses his face as he tells the boy that he has a position for him to fill and asks him when he can start. Of course, Major hears the whole thing.
Thirdly, the initial experiment with Hope the zombie rat was a failure, as Hope died. Ravi has turned another rat into a zombie to try again. Has hope for a cure really died?
Well folks, the season finale is next week. Given the scenes from the upcoming episode, with explosions and Major in a meat locker, it could be everything we hope it will be.
After that, I will be reviewing the new episodes of “Royal Pains” on USA. Here’s a preview.
I have always hated Royal Pains and that hasn’t changed. How can people watch this show? How did it get renewed for another season? Can’t they get these guys for malpractice and call it a series? How much longer do we have to wait for “The Walking Dead?” I cannot wait for October for the new episodes of “Dr. Who!”
You get the picture, don’t you?