Muckman: Epic B-Movie or Epicest B-Movie?

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muck

“Muckman” (2009). Directed by  Brett Piper. Starring Ian Piper, AJ Khan and Alison Whitney.  This B-movie is about a TV documentary crew that is out to capture the eponymous creature and earn a fortune, or something like that.  It has a Swamp-Thingesque hero, a murderous co-host, a number of brain-dead characters and one with a great moral compass. The Muckman looks good and believable, and the Really Big Thing at the end reminds me of “The Crater Lake Monster.”

 

Mickey O’Hara was the host of Creature Seekers. His career came to an abrupt end when, during a live episode on the Muckman legend in Central Pennsylvania, the actor’s rubber suit came apart. Now, Mickey is trying to make a comeback. He claims he has information that Muckman really exists. He somehow manages to sell the idea to his old producer, was soon off to the wilds of Pennsylvania to find the real Muckman!

Mickey packs up his crew in an RV and they are off. The crew is a typical group with a gorgeous co-host (the b-word), who knows it; a pair of technical guys (both lazy morons), who enjoy stinking up the bathroom and leaving the seat up; the RV driver, a tomboy with a dislike of the co-host; the handler, who tries to keep everything together.

Their contact looks like a professional wrestler’s brother, and his two friends remind you of Daryl and his brother Daryl, (You know, from the “Newhart” TV show? Wait… you’ve never seen that? What is wrong with you?) Together, they are going to look for the Muckman!

 

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Next time you’re in Pennsylvania, why not stop by?

 

First stop is the Muckman Museum where Muckman shows up outside, but just out of camera range. Later, a night-time encounter brings the RV driver and the co-host to fisticuffs, and the two techs and the handler to a joint.

It also brings out a creature hatching from an egg that the RV driver picked up. We also find that the co-host has a partner that is faking the Muckman. Throw in a bathing suit cat fight the next day, and all the elements are there for an epic B Movie!

 

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Muckmen are cute when they are little.

 

After a night when the wrestler’s brother dresses up as Muckman, the real deal shows up and attacks him. The RV driver is on the charade, but the fake Muckman catches her and ties her up.

Mickey and the co-host are behind the fake Muckman. But now, there is a real Muckman.

The co-host decides that the RV driver has to be killed. The fake Muckman drops her in the river, in front of the real Muckman, who goes into the river and carries her off, rescuing her from drowning. She realizes the Muckman just wants to be left alone. He really is a gentle soul.

Everyone is gathered at the house when Mickey and the co-host tell everyone that the RV driver was killed by Muckman. Of course, the RV driver comes in, wearing the fake Muckman mask. Now, according to the co-host, who is brandishing a gun, everyone has to die. Mickey douses the house with gasoline; the real Muckman appears and stops him. The two run and manage to get away, but not before a Really Big Thing lays waste to the RV.

This is followed up by a “Where are they now?” segment at the end of the film that is almost as funny as the end of “Little Nicky”.

 

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“Here I come to save the day!”

 

“Muckman” is a fun film. It is B-Movie length at around 90 minutes, which seems quicker as the movie doesn’t drag. Really worth a view.

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About Ernie Fink

Ernie Fink has been a fan of film, mainly in the genres of horror and mystery, in equal parts, for over fifty years. His love of horror in the cinema begins with "King Kong" and in literature with Edgar Allan Poe and Bernhardt J. Hurwood.  With mysteries, he skipped from the Hardy Boys right to Hercules Poirot, only to find John Rebus and Harry Hole waiting in the wings. He has been known to read subtitles extensively, and rarely leaves a theater until the lights come up.
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