Scream Queens Episode 12 “Dorkus”

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We pick up in Pete’s dorm room, as he stands before the armoire containing his Red Devil costume and Grace struggles to make sense of his claim that he’s a murderer.

Turns out Pete followed Boone home from killing Shondelle, the security guard, outside Kappa Kappa Tau. He caught the Dickie Dollar Scholars frat boy in the act of removing his crimson costume. Boone explained his hatred of Kappa and his dark backstory to Pete that night. Pete sees similarities in his own quest to bring down the Greek System, and points out to Grace that she is no better than the Red Devil killer herself; she fed Cathy Munsch poisoned apple cider in the very last episode!

Pete believes the Red Devil is the hero in all this. The killers are destroying the evil that is Kappa and saving generations of young women from being brainwashed by the narcissistic evil that lives in KKT. Though he makes a few fine points, we mostly learn that Pete is a little cuckoo.

Grace is sickened.

 

“Stop rationalizing it. You killed people. You are not allowed to say ‘Yeah, but I had a super good reason for it.’ Who did you kill?”

 

In flashback, we see the secret tunnel beneath Kappa house. Pete enters, wearing the Red Devil costume and carrying the mask. Above him, Roger and Libby Putney make out. A storage shelf in the room with the lovers slides open to reveal the tunnel access to Kappa, admitting Pete into the sorority house. He nailguns Roger to death and then flees.

At this point in Pete’s confession, Grace picks up a letter opener and struggles as her former boyfriend pins her to the wall. He wants to tell her everything, but she just wants to bolt outta there.

Pete claims that the two other Red Devils showed up at his dorm room heavily armed and thinking that Pete, with his knowledge of Boone’s identity, had to go. They told him that either he kills for them to prove himself or die. Besides, Pete points out that Grace practically told him to join up with the killers on the drive back from meeting former Kappa sister Mandy Green in her isolated trailer.

In the car, Grace says:

“How could you possibly stop an evil as old as Kappa by playing by the rules. I mean, aren’t we being naïve?”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I don’t know…it’s just, maybe the Red Devil has the right idea.”

Now we know how Mandy was found and killed, since only Dean Munsch knew of her location. When Pete went sleuthing in her office to find her whereabouts, it wasn’t to help Grace gather information.

He was serving another master.

Grace is understandably unmoved by his weak arguments defending murder, lies and betrayal.

So he tries philosophy.

“If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

“You’re quoting Nietzsche? Seriously? You’re already a murderer. You don’t have to be a douche. This isn’t a philosophy course. It’s murder. Serial murder.”

“I agree. That’s why I decided to make it all stop. So I killed Boone.”

Boone, we learn, asked Pete to kill Gigi, which is why the killer kept the costume on during the hotel suite scene. Gigi was completely unaware that Pete Martinez knew who the brother and sister Red Devils were; if she had known, she would’ve ordered his death immediately.

Gigi was the Planner and Boone was the Muscle. With his death, Pete theorized that the murderous operation would grind to a halt. Wrong! After killing Boone, Pete swore off murder, though he does admit to shooting Chanel and the cop at the mall on Black Friday with a crossbow. But that was self-defense, right?

Pete decided that Chanel Oberlin had to die before the Devil killings could stop. With Boone dead, he continued terrorizing them himself. We learn that the year before, Chanel led Pete on by telling him her darkest fetish was to have him to dress up as a caveman from the film “Clan Of The Cave Bear” and woo her with grunting, face paint and primal dancing.

 

cave man

 

He bursts into her gigantic closet and clambers around like a monkey as the two other Chanels, watching from above, clap and laugh. He leaves in humiliation.

After listening to Pete’s story explaining his actions, is the typically level-headed Grace Gardner ready to be swept off her feet by a homicidal liar?

 

“I don’t want to be here anymore. I feel sick. This isn’t what I wanted.”

 

Pete wants them to run away together and let the other killer finish everything. Grace identifies him as everything she’s been fighting against, slaps him and walks into the hall.

“But if you leave, I won’t be able to tell you who the other killer is. Spoiler alert. It’s one of your sisters.”

Grace reappears in the doorway, listening.

Pete explains that it was Boone’s twin sister, the other baby in the bathtub. He collected DNA samples from all the Kappa sisters by hiding out in the house as they set down drinking glasses, disposed of chewing gum or cut their fingers and bled into napkins.

As he’s about to identify the deadly sibling, the nearby armoir containing his Devil suit bursts open and the costumed maniac leaps out, stabbing Pete repeatedly. He fights back to protect Grace and is killed in the process.

Grace then kicks butt, slamming the Red Devil’s head into the wall and dragging the killer to the floor. Eventually the killer gets the upper hand and knocks Grace out.

Meanwhile, Chanel Oberlin is pursued by an angry mob of sign waving protesters on campus. Could this somehow be related to the “scathing missive” she emailed out to her minions after they failed to show up to drown Cathy at the pool?

Her protesters are carrying signs reading “Krappa Krappa Cow” and “Go Back To Hell” as they surround and scream at the impassive Chanel.

In flashback we see Chanel penning the email that begins her not so tragic downfall. As her minions read it, the words themselves appear across the walls and ceilings of Kappa House and across the sky over campus.

“ATTENTION ALL USELESS KAPPA SLUTS,

Congratulations! If you are reading this, it means you’ve overcome the limitations of your tiny manatee brains and opened an email. Now if you’re asking yourself DERRRR, wait, I’m confused. Is Chanel talking to me? Am I a useless Kappa slut? Simply ask yourself the following question aloud…is my name Chanel #3, Chanel #5, Chanel #6 or Zayday Williams? Because if the answer to that is yes, then felicitations! This missive is for you.

So, do you all remember when we agreed to meet at the campus pool and kill the Dean and I got you all awesome new phones so that when it came time to meet, it would light up a certain color and you didn’t even have to answer it. You just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool.

And then do you remember NOT coming to the pool, despite making it super easy for you by concocting a plan so simple that an orangutan could’ve figured it out. Like, literally a circus ape of moderate intelligence could’ve looked down at the phone sticking out of the single pocket in the front of his comical lederhosen and seen it light up and used his short little legs to waddle over to his tiny motorized car and driven to the pool like I asked.

Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan? That’s not a rhetorical question. I’m literally asking if your tiny slut brains had the power to process any of my super simple orangutan-level instructions? Because what I remember is that NONE OF YOU showed up, which meant that I had to sit at that stupid pool by myself like a GRADE-A ASSHAT with a bag full of enormous chains to drown Dean Munsch with and then have a super awkward convo with her where I was like “Oh, DERRR, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools” and I looked like a total div.

I don’t entirely know what you whores could’ve been doing that was more important than helping your Chapter President drown a serial killer, but unless that thing you were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid gold at a new local establishment called “Liquid Gold Enemas For Young Sluts”…like, if you were doing literally ANYTHING else, you all should seriously consider doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. I’m not being facetious. I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, thereby sparing the human race exposure to your DNA.

You four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings ever born and you all should REALLY watch your backs because if this serial killer targeting Kappa house doesn’t chop off your heads, I’M GONNA DO IT and donate your tiny whore brain pans to science.

Sincerely,

Chanel Oberlin

The day after writing this fine piece of hate, Chanel went down to the local coffeehouse for her usual burning hot pumpkin spice latte and found out that she was now infamous. Well, MORE infamous. A reporter appeared on local news covering a massive protest in front of Kappa house as Chanel was dubbed ‘Satan in a dress.’ Now labeled ‘worst person alive’ by CNN, Chanel is soon surrounded by haters. It turns out the sole remaining Red Devil forwarded her email to the entirety of Wallace University.

Chanel now knows that her time as the wicked Queen of KKT is over, and resolves to commit suicide using an asp she purchased online. Sitting the box containing the deadly venomous snake on her bed, she waits for it to sense her body heat and emerge to kill her, like Cleopatra.

Zayday interrupts. Turns out the asp is a harmless garter snake wearing a knitted tube sweater.

Instead of heaping more deserved scorn on Chanel, Zayday encourages her to look to a brighter future after this dark time. Zay see this disaster as an opportunity for change in KKT and Chanel herself. After the girls band together to stop the killer, they’ll rebuild Kappa better than before.

Chanel agrees to try just as the Red Devil strides in with a candlestick. Zayday kicks him in the stomach, sending the candle flying. He then mutters “Well, that’s just great!” and picks up a hairbrush and the poor snake on the bed. The snake strikes and Zayday knocks the Devil down.

They tear off his mask to reveal some guy. He reeks of pizza and is screaming “She made me do it!” Zayday gags him.

 

delivery guy

 

They drag him into the downstairs foyer as the rest of the Chanels gather. Hester appears and says something rather strange has just happened. A woman in a veil with scars all over her face accosted Hester on campus, saying something about a “Dork” and carrying a shovel.

The prone Red Devil on the floor spits out his gag and explains that he is going to explode. He was about to deliver a pizza to Kappa House when someone knocked him out. When he woke up he was strapped with dynamite! Chanel pulls back his cape to reveal a substantial stack of dynamite sticks and a timer. Five seconds left. The pizza man blurts out that his attacker told him that if he killed everyone in the house, he’d live. If not, he’d be blown sky-high.

 

scream-queens

 

The girls scream and run as the timer hits zero, activating a silly mechanical laugh, and then blowing up the foyer. The Red Devil mask hits the ceiling as gore rains down on the screaming sisters.

In the aftermath, #5 has a panic attack and Chanel claims that she’s really a changed woman after nearly dying at the fangs of a fake asp and an exploding pizza man. Chanel is going to go on an Apology Tour, like celebrities who’ve done something wrong. And her first stop is the hideously burned Melanie Dorkus aka Spray Tan Girl. She recruits the two Chanels to record the faux apology and the ladies set off to meet Melanie.

Grace is visiting Wes. Despite knocking her out, the Red Devil let her live, which is mystifying.

Even with all the new and shocking info on Pete, Wes still believes in him. And after Grace’s heroics against the killer, he also is learning to trust her and back off more. He suggests polygraphs and water boarding as means of sussing out the killer from the four Chanels.

But Grace has another idea. She needs background info on each Chanel, the kind of data only a Dean would have. But in order to distract Cathy, Wes will have to really commit.

Dean Munsch comes home to lit candles forming a trail through her opulent home. Since she’s already been attacked once, she assumes karate stance as she searches. In her bedroom, she finds Wes in his underwear holding a rose, posing in front of a toasty fireplace as Heart’s “Crazy On You” plays.

 

wes and musnch

 

“Hey, teach. I’ve been a very bad boy. Maybe I should get sent to the Dean.”

 

As Cathy tries to figure out his angle, we see Zayday and Grace stealthily pass by in the hallway.

The love scene/wrestling that follows is absolutely hilarious. Both Oliver Hudson and Jamie Lee Curtis have been fantastic throughout the show’s run and this entanglement of the two caps it off perfectly.

At Melanie Dorkus’s grim mansion, her butler tries to turn away the Chanels. Melanie doesn’t allow visitors. Thankfully, the Chanels are known for respecting the wishes of others and showing tact. They steamroll right past the butler and discover an army of attack dogs.

The KKT sisters are led into a creepy parlor filled with hunting trophies to wait. They discuss Hester, who promised to join them. Back in Kappa House, Hester enters the fashion filled rotunda that serves as Chanel’s closet and tantrum room. She’s robbing the place, stealing priceless pieces of jewelry! What the hell! She picks up a gleaming red high heel and grins.

Grace and Zayday open Dean Munsch’s laptop, which they somehow have the password for, and begin searching for anything in the past history of each Chanel that seems off. Meanwhile, we hear moans and groans through the wall as Wes really gets into undercover work.

One of the Chanels took courses in Human Anatomy and Sewing. Grace brings up the half sewn Red Devil costumes in the lair Zayday was taken to. This mysterious suspect also has a rather odd Social Security number: 123-45-6789. And her home address is 666 Sesame Street, Anytown, MN 987654. Plus, she graduated from Sweet Valley High.  Hmmm…

Having now deduced the identity of the female baby in the bathtub, Grace needs to find the Chanels as soon as possible. Meanwhile, Chanel #5’s phone beeps at the Dorkus mansion. Somebody swiped right on her Tinder profile and she has to go.

Suspicious.

Miss Dorkus admits her guests as #5 heads out to meet her date.

 

wesdead

 

Cathy smokes a cigarette and Wes looks rather stunned in the afterglow of lovemaking. Will he dump her now that his daughter has the information she needs? Was it all just a ruse? That’s what Cathy predicts, but Wes is seriously impressed. He wants to keep this thing going, but not just in the bedroom. He wants a real relationship. And also, he’s wearing totally different underwear than he was at the start of the seduction.

Cathy is willing to dive into it with one caveat. She wants Wes to send Grace away for a while so she can’t advise her father on his relationship choices.

Chanel and #3 approach the veiled bed of Melanie in a moment straight out of the Thomas Harris novel “Hannibal,” wherein FBI agent Clarice Starling meets scarred Hannibal Lecter victim Mason Verger as he lays in his canopy bed surrounded by gauzy curtains.

Melanie, watching a series of small televisions, peels back her white lace veil.

 

dorkus

 

#3 blurts out: “Oh my God, she looks like Jason Voorhees.”

Chanel corrects her. Jason was deformed from birth, and Freddy Krueger was disfigured in flames. She looks like Freddy.

But then #3 counters with the fact that Jason was also disfigured by a deluge of toxic waste in the finale of “Jason Takes Manhattan,” incorrectly identifying it as “Jason Goes To Hell.”

It turns out Melanie has been in Alaska in deep isolation until her parents thought it might be unhealthy for her to live in an Arctic compound. She moved back to the estate that three generations of her family went insane in.

“Toxic Avenger. That’s who I was thinking of!” #3 says suddenly.

Dorkus still blames Chanel for the acid spray.

Chanel sits down on the bed to make her apology, secretly pulling out a pair of scissors and leaning forward.

“I hope you rot in Hell, bitch!” screams Chanel as she stabs the pillows where Melanie’s head was just resting. As they struggle, Chanel says Hester pointed her to the identity of the last Red Devil killer by describing her accoster as a veiled woman saying “Dork” something. We learn that Melanie took a plane home from Alaska a week before the murders began.

As Chanel is about to plunge the scissors through Melanie’s heart, Zayday bursts in and stops her. Grace follows.

 

“Chanel, stop. She’s not the killer. We have proof. It’s Hester. Hester is the Red Devil.”

 

The girls apologize to Melanie for real and begin searching Kappa House. They hear a scream from the upper floors and grab weapons before investigating.

They find #5 in the bathroom. Her Tinder hookup was a photo of the lead singer of Nickelback cut out of a magazine. She’s pretty upset. In the rotunda they find Hester laid out on the carpet with a red stiletto heel in her left eye.

Hester comes to and shakily points at #5, moaning “Red Devil! Red Devil!”

 

hester

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About Brundlefly Joe

Brundlefly Joe has acted in a few zero budget horror films, including playing the amazing Victim #2 in the short film "Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (2008)." He has been busy creating film submission for Project 21 and other Philadelphia based film groups. Joe went to college for Film and Animation, and has made several short animation and film pieces. He loves to draw and paint and read; sometimes the same time! His passions include 1980's slasher movies, discovering new music, gobbling up Mexican food, buying stuff on Amazon, chilling with his lovely cat, watching movies involving Marvel superheroes, playing video games and cooking. He loves to cook. Like, a lot. Seriously. Brundleflies have four arms. He can cook two different dishes at the same time. He's great to have at parties. Just don't ask him to tenderize your food. He might get the wrong idea and go all Cronenberg on your plate.
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