Scream Queens Episode 3 “Chainsaw”

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The horror comedy hits all the right notes of both genres in the third episode, as the Red Devil steps up the carnage and students fight back against the crimson maniac.

Zayday and Grace hit a grocery store after dark to replenish the dwindling food supply at Kappa House. The Chanels have begun eating cotton balls to stave off hunger after the death of their housekeeper and chef, Ms Beam. We learn that both heroines carry tasers sent by Zayday’s concerned grandmother, and that Zay suspects barista Pete far more than Grace does.

The Devil himself pops up in the store and is promptly tasered in the junk by Grace. He turns out to be Eugene Melman, a student who was wearing the suit for fun.

Chanel Oberlin and Chanel #5 stand in the empty freezer in the spot where Chanel #2 was dumped in the last episode. The boss lady is freaking out, but Number Five has had it. She’d rather spend her college years getting righteously boned than chase some dumb killer.

“Look, Chanel, I’m gonna be honest with you… I’m sort of over the whole serial murder thing that’s going on right now. Last night I had the most amazing threesome with Roger and Dodger, and I realized that I’d rather focus my attention this semester on getting spit roasted by hot frat twins.”

Grace and Zayday investigate Number Two’s bedroom and find a mysterious red stain. Denise Hemphill shows up and squirts luminol on the stain, confirming it to be blood.

 

SCREAM QUEENS: Pictured L-R: Lea Michele as Hester and Diego Boneta as Pete in the "Chainsaw" episode of SCREAM QUEENS airing Tuesday, Sept. 29 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. ©2015 Fox Broadcasting Co. Cr: Skip Bolen/FOX.

 

On campus, there’s a vigil for fallen students in which many hold signs reading “I’m not KKT.” Since the murders seem connected to Kappa Kappa Tau, folks are distancing themselves.

Chad Radwell mourns Boone and breaks up with Chanel again because her pledge class is too ugly. Chanel #3 connects with Predatory Lez as Dean Munsch announces that Boone’s death was ruled a suicide and that the school will no longer be represented by a Red Devil mascot.

The new mascot is Coney, a huge ice cream cone with googly eyes. He appears and dances to blaring techno music. No one applauds.

 

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Grace, Hemphill and Zay travel to the Bel Air mansion; home of the missing Number Two aka Sonya. Her mother, played by Buffy and Angel star Charisma Carpenter, informs them that Sonya had a drinking problem and that she was dating Chad Radwell. She produces a love letter from Chad as proof.

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Grace discovers that her father Wes is her “Intro To Film Analysis” professor. She storms out of the class angrily. Wes shows his students his favorite film, 1974’s “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Gigi shows up to flirt and congratulate him on his teaching skills afterwards. The Dean turns up and invites Gigi to tennis.

Coney strides through campus full of confidence, checking out female students and cutting in lunch lines. He is determined to build a career on being Coney. In his dorm room, he encounters the Red Devil and a hilarious mascot battle begins. Coney takes a chainsaw to the neck.

 

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NOOOOOO!!!!

Hester aka Neckbrace enters the sacred closet space of the Chanels and tries on couture. She is confronted by Miss Oberlin, who eventually agrees to make Hester over.

During a rather silly tennis match, the Dean and Gigi decide to move into Kappa house to better protect the girls. Cathy warns Gigi that Wes is “her man.”

Chanel #3, with her ever-present earmuffs, reveals to her new friend Predatory Lez that her biological father is Charles Manson due to her mother’s conjugal visits with the famed madman in prison. She is afraid that her relationship to him will make her a suspect. The two girls agree to be “alibi buddies.”

 

The earmuffs are an homage to Chanel #3-Billie Lourd’s IRL mother, Carrie Fischer who (if you haven’t been living in a cave all your life) we all know played Princess Leia in Star Wars. And that Princess is the Princess of the hair ear-buns.

 

Grace informs Numbers 5 and 3 that Sonya dated Chad before her death, and they admit that they were also dating him. They are interrupted by Chanel and the braceless Hester, now known as Chanel #6. A new minion is born!

Gigi and the Dean show up with their luggage and announce that they’re moving in.

At the fraternity, Chad explains that Boone did not commit suicide, and that he was gay. The moronic brothers are completely confused. The night of Boone’s death, Chad spied footprints leading away from the body. He wants justice! The frat brothers agree to take steroids, get drunk, grab sports equipment and hunt the Devil.

Grace apologizes to Pete for thinking him a murderer. She posits Chad as the killer, giving his connections with KKT and his objectification of women. Pete reveals that he tracked down the address of a Kappa sister from 1994 who inexplicably dropped out just two credits shy of graduating.

 

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“This is How We Do It.”

 

To the tune of a Backstreet Boys hit, Chad and the boys hit the streets in white, armed with baseball bats. They attack a red fire hydrant and a red car before not one, but TWO Devils appear with chainsaws.

The battle begins!

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Chad is knocked out and a brother loses both arms trying to save him.

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Hemphill accuses Zayday of being the killer due to a chainsaw found under her bed. Zay explains that her grandmother mailed it to her after she lost her taser privileges.

Gigi, Cathy and Wes have a very strange date in Kappa’s parlor while Zay practices brandishing her massive chainsaw upstairs. Wes becomes concerned when he learns that Grace is not with her. She’s on the road with Pete looking for the mysterious Kappa sister.

Cathy and Gigi go to bed, complete with a nightmarish white noise machine with settings like Baboon Attack and Catastrophically Depressurizing Airplane Cabin. Cathy sets it to Slasher Movie, and Gigi decides to sleep on the couch downstairs. She is immediately attacked by the chainsaw wielding Red Devil as Wes, who was just outside, bursts in to help. The killer is knocked behind a couch and vanishes. Cathy comes downstairs and says she couldn’t hear the screams due to the white noise machine.

Wes picks up a discarded chainsaw and says: “You’re the killer.”

DUN DUN DAAA!

This was a funnier, more absurd episode than the first two were. I loved Coney, every scene with the frat boys, Chad writing the love letter to Sonya, the dorm room mascot battle, Jamie Lee Curtis and the dreaded white noise machine, Zayday’s chainsaw practice, etc.

Now I’m a fan.

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About Brundlefly Joe

Brundlefly Joe has acted in a few zero budget horror films, including playing the amazing Victim #2 in the short film "Daisy Derkins, Dogsitter of the Damned! (2008)." He has been busy creating film submission for Project 21 and other Philadelphia based film groups. Joe went to college for Film and Animation, and has made several short animation and film pieces. He loves to draw and paint and read; sometimes the same time! His passions include 1980's slasher movies, discovering new music, gobbling up Mexican food, buying stuff on Amazon, chilling with his lovely cat, watching movies involving Marvel superheroes, playing video games and cooking. He loves to cook. Like, a lot. Seriously. Brundleflies have four arms. He can cook two different dishes at the same time. He's great to have at parties. Just don't ask him to tenderize your food. He might get the wrong idea and go all Cronenberg on your plate.
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