Prepare to enter a whole new universe of fabulous knock-offs, where the dreams of teenagers are haunted by Feddy (whom scared the letter R out of his own name), and the city streets of Oldish Detroit are protected by the heroic police cyborg Robert Cop.
Why shell out $400 bucks on an iPhone 6 when you can lay your hands on the far cheaper and much less real CallMaster 5000? That’s the theory behind knock offs, which ever so slightly alter a popular product, but are still completely and hilariously recognizable.
Nightmare Feddy
Wes Craven gave us horror fanatics an enduring icon of evil, Freddy. China gave us Feddy. With his unmarred sweater, Gucci loafers and sockless feet, you can tell Feddy is a lot wealthier and stuck up than his cinematic twin.
Also, he has no finger knives and only sustained burns on his head and left hand. He might not be much in the murder department, but try sleeping when he’s rapping those steely nubs on your bedpost all freaking night.
“One, two, Feddy’s richer than you…”
Eat Gucci shoe, blitch!
Robert Cop
If you live in Detroit and you fear crime, behold Robert Cop! Part man, part machine!
Futuristic Robert Cop is available in two other versions, Robert Cop 2 and Robert Cop 3.
These people also sell Ray Liotta and Optical Prime- which looks a lot like Johnny Five from Short Circuit. Hmmmm…
According to the packaging, he’s an Autobiotic Terminator and his catchphrase is “I’ll be back.” They mean Terminator in a good way, a helpful police way.
Bear Of Some Interest
Hang on to your souls, kids.
Looks like Winnie the Pooh picked the wrong book to read at Story Time.
Who needs those jerks The Ghostbusters when you’ve got the Spook Chasers on your team?
This is Egg-on. The low budget version of Egon from Ghostbusters.
Check out Slimer on the packaging. God, he really let himself go. How many hot dogs do you NEED?
My Neddy Lovely Demon Donkey
Tye Me!!!!!!
My Little Ponies tremble before the Satanic hoofbeats of this surprisingly massive mare. Meet My Demon Donkey, the special pony who emerged from the underworld just to play with you.
Alien-Man: Part Alien Xenomorph, and also Part Man!
Because he dared to dream, and never stopped believing.
Ellen Ripley bested the monstrous Xenomorph onboard the USS Nostromo, but it looks like she forget to check if Alien-Man was also present. Weak and human below the neck, but absolutely lethal in the head. If you turn him upside down, it looks like a naked dude got his head caught in a shoe.
Big Fella
Isn’t it bad enough that Tokyo gets attacked by Godzilla and his giant friends? Now the city has a brand new problem: Big Fella! Something about him looks so familiar-zilla. What I meant to say was, he has one of those faces.
For the very young Disney fans, we have Terror Dog Mickey.
Don’t do drugs kids.
Lucky Mouse Winner, Battery Operated Mouse & Friends…but there are no friends pictured here. So he must have eaten them already.
Ah, yes the Sense Of Right Alliance.
Who needs the Avengers? We’ve got a Mower Ranger, Specialman, Foxbatperson, Spaderman, some sort of deformed Shrek-type fella, and even a race car for the gang to ride around in. But not you, Shrek.
Not you.
Super Cock Changes FRSM Cock Robot. No, that is not a typo, we’re quoting the packaging.
I don’t even…
Look, everybody, it’s Super Cock! Transforms from a metal rooster into a towering robot in seconds.
Specialman
You might be familiar with the Man Of Steel, but what about Specialman, and his plucky cashier gal pal Laney Eloise? This is Specialman.
Along with his friend Exceptional-Bat, Specialman cleans up our streets. He might not have a high-powered journalist girlfriend or a job or an apartment, but one thing is clear; he’s gonna get sued wearing that outfit.
Star Knight: Sith Lord
Mystery Bump-N-Go Action! Ohhhh Myyyyy!
Nothing scares space criminals more than the sight of Darth Vader riding a highway patrol motorcycle through the fathomless reaches of the cosmos. Meet Star Knight, whom faked his own death at the end of “Return Of The Jedi” to join the force. The police force, not The Force, force.
Titanic-Bot
Titanic-Bot transforms from a fancy robot to a spectacularly doomed cruise ship.
Was Titanic Bot in sleep mode when the iceberg punctured his head? Did his creator opt for cheap and flimsy body armor? We’ll never know. But you can have hours of fun while reliving all the death and watery terror with Titanic Bot.
New Style Ninja Tortoise
Powajunga, dude! New Style Ninja Tortoise to the rescue! Looks like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were sleeping on the job AGAIN, but our faithful Tortoise won’t let us down. We know he’s not just another Turtle thanks to a handy word on his chest. Yay! Tortle Power!
Bloodthirsty War Dolphin
We here at Bloody Whisper are especially fond of the Bloodthirsty War Dolphin.
The terror of the seven seas, Bloodthirsty War Dolphin will eat your children and enslave your husbands. He’s cool with your women though. The ladies LOVE Bloodthirsty War Dolphin.
I need to see a clear photo of Bloodthirsty War Dolphin in robot mode. Now we know how Titanic-Bot sank. There’s only one dolphin who could survive those frigid waters long enough to plant explosives and frame a nearby iceberg.
You’re right! It had to be Bloodthirsty War Dolphin who did it.
What happened to The Power Slayer, the Buffy knock off with the giant machine gun and ridiculous outfit? I love that one. I wrote up a little paragraph about it.
Someone should inform Sarah Michelle Gellar that her likeness is being used on the packaging for a toy that looks nothing like her.
Bloodthirsty War Dolphin Killed Power Slayer and ate the evidence. (The picture was watermarked, i.e. copyrighted, and there wasn’t any other copies of it floating around without it.)
Gotcha. I found two other Power Slayers online. Different figures, same series. Fairly useless looking.